One of the last things Jesus stated while he was vulnerable on the cross was an apology. Not for him, but for us. He had to show us how to apologize. He forgave so that all wouldn't be lost. Every miracle performed up to this point would have been in vain without forgiveness.
We stand in the way of our own freedom. Our lips sealed tight with the fear of vulnerability. Two of the most powerful phrases that make us vulnerable and free are "I'm sorry" and "I love you". And both of those phrases allow for the other one to be true; the absence of either one makes the existence of the other impossible. Theology aside, eventually, we all need to apologize. You cannot love yourself or anyone else without forgiveness.
Bitterness is a fun house mirror at a carnival. It distorts our perceptions and traps us in its maze. The exit is there, but we can't see it until we remember the way out. That requires thinking in reverse and using a compass. Retracing our steps and moving backward so we can move forward. Reflecting on things we want to forget so we can understand how we got lost and where we got confused, and even empathizing. Because, most of the time, bitterness is a result of someone else's misunderstanding. Their own false perceptions that allowed love to get lost in translation, and this time, we were on the receiving end of the message. Bitterness destroys our sense of direction.
In finding our way out of the maze, we can get stuck. If we use the memories as our only navigational tools, they can serve as hindrances that leave us on repeat. Reflecting alone can lead us to repeat what we are supposed to forgive. Bitterness and blame become impenetrable walls that impede our exit unless we follow the only true compass we have, and take responsibility. It doesn't matter why they did what they did. What matters is acknowledging we were wronged so that we have something tangible to forgive and let go of, that's what we are responsible for.
When we know better, we do better, says Maya Angelou. What if we know the only one who is better than all of us? Then his example is all we need to know to do better. His apology made way for our freedom.
It is easy to point the finger at a victimizer, especially when it would seem you have every reason to feel victimized. But when we look at the situation that involved the greatest injustice, where all the blame fell on the undeserved, words of forgiveness were still uttered in the greatest state of vulnerability. Love and an apology were nailed down in one place, literally. We can all be transformed by this freeing moment and the life that follows.
Jesus' mysterious parables are analyzed and dissected in an effort to understand his message. But its his final moments that offer the greatest lesson. Nearly lifeless and nailed down, he performed the most transforming miracle: in his greatest moment of weakness he revealed perfect strength by forgiving the unforgivable so that we could be free to do the same.
